“We can’t love a person with an all accepting, transcending and encompassing love; without being hurt somewhat; without being disappointed; without being failed of our expectations…We can’t love without being broken, yet we can’t continue in love without being stronger than our brokenness…“
They say it takes a while for a scar to heal. Yeah right, it took me awhile to wait for that moment. It was a long nine times 365 days to be stronger than my being broken. And I feel like trying again, thought of giving it a chance and that maybe it will be better…
Then, I tried…I just don’t know if it was the right place to try or if I could sustain it. I end up realizing, I was too comfortable not minding this side of life, and being too busy building ideals too far from reality made it worst. That long time of just believing in every happy ending story and found out it always works two ways.
As much as people around me would believe I deserve someone on this side, I am always longing for that time to come for me to face him…
I would like to believe I am ready but I am not, fear embraces me every time I would take one step further. I am drowned and end up not OK. Hurting myself with ideals I could not erase. Afraid to tell and show how weak I am on this side…I bet no one would understand.
So, I guess…my hiding place is the safest…need to rest… ;(