Things are uneasy these past few days. Tired from work, weary over disturb thinking and that feeling of unfair circumstances always embraced me. But my silence over the sad news which involved my family being not OK made me realized that things will be fine.
Mama came home crying and bursting out with madness not against me but against the news that involved my brother. I understand she needs to let it out, her sadness, worries and fears needs reasons for her to surpass. She shouted at me, say bad things about my lapses as a sister. In short, she somehow blamed me about what happened to my brother. Everything she said hurts me so bad that even though I want to express my thoughts in an angry mode, I decided to close my eyes and stay quiet. I cried with few tears then pray in silence…
“God, I may not understand why I felt being blamed but I really understand that I do not want to feel mad, hurt and selfish. Please, keep my brother safe and let him feel Your love of which he can’t feel from me. In Your arms he is safe and it is only You who can satisfy Him. I beg You to help me forgive and understand this situation…”
Then, I realized, most of the time when you can’t control how things should come out, you need not to say anything. Let your prayers conquer all the uncertainties. Let God handles all your bad feelings and let Him take over. When you let HIM, you will see the beautiful colors that surround you. Blue sky is even bluer, white clouds are even whiter and things which you think are hard to deal seem to be easy. Silence in its truest essence can conquer even the most hurtful experience you will have.
Be better! Have blessed moments all the time!!!